Last days and long summers

Well, today was Maisie’s last day at preschool.  I was emotional, almost in tears over poor Mrs Bower. Which brings us full circle, because I was a complete wreck the first day I dropped her off, just after she turned three – I actually cried myself sick.

Thinking about it, I’m not sure why this should be a sad time for me.  I should be happy and thankful.  Maisie has enjoyed her time at First Steps immensely, she’s made friends and learned a lot.  Learned, in fact, more than I realised.

Each day she’d come home, I’d ask what she’d done and her answer would invariably be ‘don’t know’.  I was starting to wonder if the kids walked through the door and were all sedated until it was time for us mums to come and pick them up.  Her teacher had been assuring me that she was, in fact, doing something, but today I was handed her folder.  It had photos of her doing all sorts of things, pictures she’s done, things she’s written.  Even a diary in which she’s been doing drawings and writing. I’m proud of her.  She’s a somewhat self contained, independent little girl, but gosh she’s bright and personable.  Her teachers like her, she has friends.  I’ve done my job.  First Steps has done their job.  She’s ready to go to big school.

But … she can’t be going to big school.  She’s my baby.  Alright, she’s not my baby any more.  But can’t we hold onto that for just a little longer, before she moves further away?  Soon she’ll only want me for my washing machine and my wallet.

It won’t seem long before she’ll be off having babies of her own.  Then she’ll need me again … oh yes.  I guess I can wait for that day to come.

In the meantime I’ve got six weeks with my baby before she starts school.  I’d better make the most of them.

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  1. i remember when my firstborn started big school … and unlike nursery when the teacher would report back about what they did that day, he was released back to me with nary a word about what had gone on. it was like a big hole appeared in my life! cherish this time, it goes so fast.

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